Achieving 'Santosha' in an AirBnb in Madrid

Interviewing Liza Soberano in the streets of New York

The AirBnB I booked in Madrid was quite a ways off from the city center, but it was the only one I could find that had free parking. Thanks to the kind folks at Lexus, I had a car for the rest of my stay in Spain after the work part of my trip was done, but that meant I had to find a place that not only had all of the usual things (near restaurants and a supermarket, affordable, and highly rated), but that also had a place where I could keep the car safe. 

 

Inma’s place was just what I was looking for. The room was adjacent to the homeowner’s place, in a building that was along a tree-lined avenue. It was a studio room with a comfortable bed, a small dining set-up, a lounge chair, a fridge, and a regular toilet and bath. And, of course, parking right outside. It was just right for a solo traveler, and one who was visiting Madrid for the first time. 

My AirBnb in Madrid

With Inma, my AirBnb host in Madrid, right outside her apartment

From Inma’s place I was able to go on a drive to the ancient town of Segovia, about an hour away, and go back a couple of times to Madrid's heart to visit the Prado and the Reina Sofia Museums. Having a car definitely helped me save on transport costs, but it also caused me some minor anxieties. (Like, how do you even find parking in the city?)

 

In the evenings, though, I chose to stay in my little room, read a bit or watch a film or two on Netflix or Disney Plus. It would’ve been easy to go out and look for a party, maybe grab a few drinks with a bunch of strangers, but I realized that, without somebody goading me into getting dressed and pushing me out of the door, I just didn’t have the energy for a night out on the town. I just wanted a quiet night in and enjoy the convenience store dinner I got for myself while watching Scream VI or something. 

A trip to Marawi was a life-changing experience

With military escorts in Marawi

 

Moderating a panel at this year's BUILD Startup festival

I'm very proud to belong to this team

It was while I was in bed eating ice cream that the realization hit me: there I was halfway across the world, traveling by myself in a strange new place, comfortably watching a ridiculous slasher flick on a laptop with my tummy full and waiting for the sandman to summon me to dreamland. Except for a couple of minor things, everything in my life up to that point felt exactly “in place.” Like the choices I made along the way paid off and I caught myself in a moment where things were exactly where they should be. Now I understood what Michael Grates (Ben Stiller) was talking about with Lelaina Pierce (Winona Ryder) in Reality Bites, when they went on their first date and they were hanging out in the back of his BMW convertible listening to Frampton Comes Alive!

 

The thought scared me a little bit. I wasn’t used to that feeling, when nearly every aspect of my life was working out and I literally couldn’t think of anything else that would make things better. And of course, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something big and bad was waiting in the shadows, just waiting to announce itself and ruin everything.

Walking around Las Vegas

Running around Cartagena, Spain

Walking around some more in Mumbai, India

Living in a place like the Philippines, where complaining is almost like a national pastime, it’s difficult to truly feel contented—about your own situation, and the one people around you find themselves in. Sometimes the issue is legitimate, like you’re hungry and you don’t know where your next meal is coming from, or you’re exhausted from the commute to and from work you literally don’t have time for anything else but sleep and wake up to do it all over again the next day. Or you discover a lump in your chest or the back of your neck that seems just little bit bigger than it was the last time you felt it a week ago. 

 

Sometimes it’s a little less serious; a nagging feeling that something just isn’t right. Like when you leave the house and just know you forgot to turn off the light or the fan in your room. Or you suddenly remember an argument with a classmate or co-worker from years ago and you just thought of the perfect retort. Or you’re thinking about the report you need to work on or that meeting with your boss tomorrow.  

Meeting Chris Carabba was a big check mark in my career bucket list

Chatting with Bruno Major was also nice

It was my fourth time to watch Damien Rice perform live

 

It could be a million other things that’s causing you actual sleepless nights. But when things align, and you unexpectedly find yourself comfortable, satisfied, and at peace—with the people around you, the stuff you have, and yourself—it’s worth celebrating, or, at the very least, acknowledging, particularly for someone who’s lived most of his life perpetually encumbered by various forms of anxieties. 

 

My desire to immerse myself fully in this unfamiliar state led me to learn about the word santosha, which is the Sanskrit word for satisfaction or contentment. Essentially, santosha is “the observed ‘serenity,’ of being ‘totally satisfied, not desiring anything other than the fundamental.’” Other definitions of the word (according to Wikipedia) include: 

 

- the state of neither taking too much nor taking less than what one needs, one of contended optimism.

 

- the habit of being able to accept circumstances one finds self in, without being upset, of accepting oneself, and of equanimity with others who are balancing their own needs as they share what they have.

 

- in cases the environment is one where one is forced to listen to a painful speech or someone's anger, Santosha is the serenity of accepting it completely as an instructive and constructive message, understanding the other, then detaching oneself and patiently seeking reform and change in one's environment.

Hong Kong is always fun

I was happy to have made it to Austin for the first time

Iced coffee cheers to Tokyo's Shibuya crossing

This particular quote, from this yoga site, resonates with me: “Santosha or ‘contentment’ doesn’t mean idly sitting back and relinquishing the need to do anything. It simply means accepting and appreciating what we have and what we are already, and moving forwards from there.”

 

This year, I was reminded of the age-old lesson that what life reflects back to us is often heavily dependent on our own perspective and what we put out there ourselves. When we zero in on the problems and the things that go wrong and we allow ourselves to believe that we’re engulfed by nothing but crises and difficulties, that’s exactly the environment we find ourselves in. Conversely, focusing on the good things we have—family, friends, the basics of living a comfortable life, and a sense of purpose—we start realizing just how good we have it. Santosha.

Posing beside the Maserati GranTurismo at the Asia Pacific launch in Tokyo

I highly recommend going on a sunset cruise in San Francisco Bay

Touristy but also fun: a boat trip along the canals of Bruges, Belgium

 

Of course, I realize that, for the people living hand-to-mouth and those facing struggles too consequential for some of us to comprehend, it’s not as simple as shifting perspectives. Some realities are too great to brush aside or cover up with imagined advantages. But for the rest of us blessed with privilege, I say it’s good practice to actively remind ourselves of the things that make life the amazing, wonderful thing that it is, and to recognize and appreciate it whenever we get the chance. 

I don’t think it’s about sweeping things—inconveniences, unfortunate situations, unexpected disturbances—under the rug or the outright denial of the existence of these mishaps as much as it’s about accepting that these things happen and that it’s up to us how we respond to them. Ultimately, that will determine where we’re headed and whether we can achieve santosha, or catch ourselves in even the briefest moment of absolute contentment and joy.

 

Chatting with my friend Tanya

My PPFriends getting bored while waiting to board a flight

Here we are. not bored, finally enjoying a real, much-deserved vacation

Hanging out at Tanya's place is always fun

Just a quick hop and skip in the snow

As for me, that little moment I had in my AirBnB in Madrid didn’t last for very long. Almost immediately, my brain was overcome with things I had to think about, like work stuff that needed to get done, the long trip back home I had ahead of me (that included returning the car, getting to the airport in time, souvenir shopping), and the beginnings of a stomach acid attack. The pocket of santosha I had was gone, just like that. 

But I was okay with that. My thinking was: I'm grateful I had it, however brief it was. It was one of those don’t-be-sad-it’s-over-be-happy-it-happened moments. I look forward to the next time I experience an epiphany like that. And, at the very least, I thought to myself, I had something to write about in my end-of-year birthday essay.  

Just me and my girl Abby