Fans of the comedian and late night show host will know and understand this reference, but for those who don’t, here’s the gist: Conan succeeded Jay Leno as the host of America’s beloved late night variety and talk show, but after a few months, network executives wanted to move him to a later time slot in order to make room for Leno, who they were bringing back to host a new show. Rather than give in, Conan chose to step down, letting go of the hosting gig that he’d been dreaming of since he started his career as a comedian.
Somewhere in Bay, Laguna
But rather than becoming sad and bitter, Conan took the high road and left the show with his integrity and dignity intact. On his last night as Tonight Show host, he delivered a moving speech that I still think about to this day.
After thanking his home network of NBC—the same network that gave him the shaft and chose Leno over him—Conan urged his viewers and fans not to give in to cynicism.
“To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I’ll think about it for the rest of my life,” he said. “All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism—it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”
Abby
As I grow older, I'm beginning to understand why so many old people are bitter, angry, and resentful—it’s just so much easier than choosing to be optimistic, forward-thinking, and grateful. I think I’ve done a good job of maintaining a sense of positivity throughout my life, even though I’ll be the first to admit I went through my own period of self-doubt and distrust of everything and everyone (who doesn’t?).
This year, especially, has given people more reason to become embittered and to lash out at things. We’ve been on some form of lockdown more days and months this year than we weren’t, government ineptitude has reached new lows (which would be laughable if it wasn’t so damn tragic), and law enforcement has become ridiculous to the point that it’s actually scary. I rarely ever say anything on social media about my own misgivings and fears about what’s happening in this country (virtue signaling just isn’t my thing), but believe me when I say I’m aware and I’m furious.
The Honda Civic Type R in UP Diliman
So I totally understand when people use snark and sarcasm, even more than they usually do. I get why people mock sincere expressions of affection or attempts to do good, as if there’s some sinister reason for all this altruism. I understand the popularity of scornful, derisive memes, and cutting, biting remarks on the comments section of every other news item. These days where the bad and the depressing often seemingly outnumber the good and the affirmative, cynicism has become almost like a universal language.
And it’s not even just about what we see and hear in the news. It’s also within our own pockets of reality, like when you apply for internet connection and it takes months but you don’t hear from them until you call them out publicly. Or when you make an unwise financial decision and you can’t do anything to make it right until it’s too late. Or when you put your faith on someone and they turn out to be a disappointment. Get screwed over enough times and pretty soon, you’re speaking the same language—cynical-ese.
Out for a quick bike ride
But, as I’ve learned in the past, it helps to be aware of something rather than blindly trudging on and having somebody else call you out on it. When I find myself sounding too snarky and sarcastic—heck, as soon as I start getting these ideas in my head—I stop. Not to the point of being ignorant or naïve (you need to keep a smidgen of critical thought, after all), but just enough to realize that these are all nonconstructive, and, as Conan said, “doesn’t lead anywhere.”
At this age, and after the year we’ve been through, what I’ve come to realize is that it’s pointless to engage in arguments with people who immediately place themselves above everybody else by the mere fact that they’re voicing their opinions; there’s an automatic assumption that they are correct and the other side is wrong. Because, when you think about it, the most cynical among us are those who think of themselves smarter, more eloquent, simply better than everybody else.
And that’s definitely not me. Not for as long as I can help it.
Watch Conan’s commencement speech to the 2011 graduating class of Dartmouth here
