Looking back at it now, several things stick out: the way that near-invisible dimple showed up on your right cheek when you smiled wide enough; the way the skin in your arms felt as I caressed it; how adorable you looked standing against those old houses; how I found myself staring at your face while you talked.
I was surprised at how many emotions I felt in one afternoon.
There was some trepidation, for sure. There’s always that when you’re meeting somebody for the first time. But I had to get past that quick because there was no doubt I was gonna go through with it—to finally see you in real life after weeks of torturing myself with best and worst-case scenarios.
And then there was anticipation—the thrill of knowing you were going to be there; nervousness—that first few minutes in the car when it suddenly dawned on me that this was really happening; the feeling of being relaxed and at ease—how easy and natural you made it all feel; joy—for bringing life to something as seemingly generic as a walk in the park; and several other things I’d like to keep to myself, but I suspect you already know.
When you told me that story of our “accidental” collaboration, I was intrigued. It was completely unexpected, and something I would’ve taken as a sign, if I believed in such things.
When I became aware of your politics, and how passionately you used your art to convey your beliefs, it wasn’t a turn-off. On the contrary, I admire how much of yourself you put out there; it’s something I could only wish for myself. (The fact that your stand on most issues align with mine is simply a happy bonus).
And when I realized you were funny—the kind of funny that had me chuckling at the glow of my phone at 2 a.m., and the kind of funny that made me suddenly go quiet and smile during lunch with the people in my household, making them question my sanity—that was a lightbulb moment, too. You’re quick-witted and acerbic—you could make a joke out of a corny pun as easily as a reference to a TV show or movie we both enjoyed. You’re the exact opposite of boring, and who wouldn’t want that?
These are all reasons for me to keep reaching for my phone and checking for new messages from you, but let me tell you when you had me: when we finally met and you turned out to be exactly who I thought you were—gentle, interesting, a little awkward, lovely company, and even cuter than you are in pictures.
I tested the waters and honestly wasn’t expecting much, but meeting you has been the highlight of my pandemic experience. You’re living proof that rewards await those who don’t give up.
I’m not sure what lies ahead, to be honest. I'm not even sure how you feel about me. But if that afternoon at the park is any indication, whatever happens is going to be amazing, meaningful and fun. And I can’t wait to see you again.
